Just a thought of " yay "

I still remember back in 2005, when I was still young, loved to play, loved to enjoy myself to the fullest like life was always young to a girl at the age of 19 during that time. All i need to think of,was my studies and where I need to go after the class! Back in those teenager lives and the early age of adulthood world, I never even touched a single though about the future ahead. But now, say hello to hormone! I guess I do have the syndrome of “25 years old syndrome” where I tend to feel worry with my age. Not to say that I am worry about the age itself, but I am worry about my future….


Before this, I never worried if my aunt or my cousins who were older than me like 5 years difference got married or engaged. But, now, everything seems to reverse to what it supposed to be. I can feel that most of my friends are planning about their future such as…when they want to settle down, talking about house, car, investment, loan, future babies, babies name and talks all about the futuristic thingy that scares me a lot.




It was really flashing to my mind…with all the” Wh” Question marks..when will I, myself get married?or perhaps just talk about engagement ring? When will I, myself, stable in terms of my own personal financial? I only have a car of my own..how about house? I haven’t got my own house yet? Loan? I never make any loan yet? Countless of clueless questions that yet still need to be discover…too complicated when I am giving just a second though about it…


Even worst, when my friend is way too far ahead, thinking about marriage and spreading a good news everywhere even though she hasn’t even engaged yet but she had planned about her marriage, about the babies and even had marked the babies name for her future baby boy and girl that include with the father‘s name (boyfriend’s name) on her own life diary…wow!!!! That is totally scary! Should I say yay or nay???


Sometimes, I quizzically asking myself…am I scared of my future because i am perpetually prepared and ready enough to step ahead of the future or am I scared of my future because I am not ready but situation forces me to not waste my time and it’s time to think about the future…???hmmm….


Or am I…… had planned in mind but scared to let anyone knows about it because I have the attitude to be so “silently secret” with every plan I made. Since I don’t want to spread news everywhere while I, myself cannot confirm it yet… I guess let’s make it as a secret until the truth reveal s by the time of a great healer!


Goodnite!